We have come too far... Dont Stop.

We have come too far to let things hold us back. Or slow us down.
We must allow ourselves to ride with our pain. If there is any at all, until it subsides.

As you remember how hard you fell.
Do not forget all the things you found on the ground. All the diamonds in the dust. Shake yourself off, carve yourself a crown.

If there is a such thing as time. And you think 'time is running out'. You might aswell be. Moving with the clock. You're either watching it and matching it or you're simply watching it and wasting.

Make a decision. Close your eyes and forget what you see. Because looks have a tendency to deceive. We can live with our eyes shut. Trust me. Real belief is blind to our reality. The heart knows ones true capabilities. Thats why a poor child can dream of being president. And the one who gets rejected, rejects staying down again.

Because your spirit will take you beyond those doors. No knocking. So aligned you wont remember how you got through, so just follow your joy and let life surprise you.

Dream.
Desire.
Dedicate.
Devote.
Be Determined
Dont count. &
Dont stop.

A freewrite
For me.
For everyone.

Love to all those who read, and all those who dont.

You have dreamed of being what you are today.

Something thats been really resonating with me, is once upon a time I dreamed of being everything I am right now. It seems, we are often living in a state of aspiration, always thinking in future terms, always hoping to be a thing. But aren't you right now, atleast some of the things you could have only hoped of being. Have you not gathered some of the materials you dug tirelessly for? Have you not earned the wisdom the past worked you hard for? Ofcourse. You are not everything you want to be. But once upon a time you dreamed of being what you are today.

There is always a part of us. Whether it seems minuscule. So insignificant you might not realise. It might be that you had hoped to be brave enough to share your thoughts with the world and now you do that, more shamelessly than before.
It might be that you were once unconfident and now you find the things that took you so much courage are now second nature. It may be that you could never sit in your own silence and now you find yourself okay with your solitude. Perhaps you have gained more independence, more self appreciation, opened yourself up more to love.

My childhood dream was to be an artist in as many creative fields I could reach. Although the picture hasn't been painted exactly as I thought it would. Although the colours could be brighter, I'm not working with a blank canvas, there are outlines on the drawing board, and splashes of colour, its taking form. I still remember staring at that canvas confused and lost about how I'd get what the hell I want. Where would I start from, now I have started.

We dream ourselves into reality, first we think about what we wish to be. Then we work to become it. Within working do not forget you are progressing. The evolution is always happening in front of us if we take a moment to stop and realise.

Id like to believe there is always something. Even if its that you hold your head up slightly higher than you did before.

It counts.

It counts as progress.
It counts as success.

Back to the blog.
Thanks and love to all those who have told me the posts resonate with them.
Love to all who read.
And all who dont.

'I am not here for this'

I was born to feel fear but not to succumb to it.

I was born to know failure but see the road ahead.

I was born to feel love and all its colours.

Whats shaken me up, is realising, what I am here for, and what I have certainly not agreed to.

At birth, you sign a contract with Earth and agree to experience the emotions that come with living on it , or, lets say- your spirit signs a contract to have a human experience.

Within the experience, it becomes so easy to get caught up in one part of the journey, forgetting that there is a whole lifetime ahead of you. Why reduce yourself to one negative experience rather than letting it grow you? Why define yourself by your past? just because once upon a time you decided to subscribe to a mindset that once confined you.

This is not what we are here for. To be stuck. I have agreed to live and feel pain, I never agreed to settle in it.

Remember yourself. Everyday.

When you realise a feeling which is not serving you has been residing in your bones for too long. Say. ‘I am not here for this’. And dance it off.

I am remembering what I am here for, what I deserve to give myself... how much I should forgive myself, as I proceed to forgive others

To live life fully. And abundantly. We must rid ourselves of the fear that tells us. 'No one will care about our stories. No one will have time to read/watch/listen to our art. No one cares enough'.

Well, we must care enough about ourselves. Slowly, I am fixing my tongue to utter language I was once to fearful to speak. I am pouring out my opinions and my thoughts onto paper as imagery. I am inviting the motions to move through me, and responding sincerley with every breath. Because, this is what I came for- and I will not cheat myself out of living.

If you’re breathing and reading this, you may be feeling stuck, alone and confused. Im not a phyciatrist or some kind of spiritual leader and I dont want to be. But something does compell me to reflect and respond to my experiences through writing. I have helped myself by diving deep into my core, and what is currently healing/helping me now, is seeing reality for what it is, I am here now, the people I have, are here, the people who left, are gone. My reflection in the mirror will be the only thing recurring without doubt.

So, let me deal with the cards I am dealt. Thats what I am here for, to keep on keeping on, to collect wisdom through experience, to find the gold when life serves me dust.

Love to all who read.
And as always.
All who dont.

- Hermenia

Want the things that want YOU.

‘I have a feeling you only want, what doesnt want you’.

Said the woman on television without realising she had caused a click in my skull, like all this time something was out of place and finally, It had been mended. If not that then it was more like a light had burnt out in my head, an alarm had been buzzing in my brain, all this time, causing my movements to be frantic and nonsensical, finally, I had pressed the off switch of that annoying alarm- that really had no purpose.

This is one of the greatest lessons that has slapped me in the face over the past 4 years. To want the things that want you, do not chase what is not chasing you, listen to the things that call your name and respond. Call its name back, love it as it loves you. Nurture it as it nurtures you. Respect it as it respects you. Hold this reciprocal relationship as sacred. Chase eachother and collide in an embrace.

In the past; I have, found my mind forcing my body to place itself into situations where it felt it should be. Rather than looking in front of me, I’d catch myself looking beyond, into the distance… into a place where I felt I belonged, and even when I got there, and was told through body language, looks, rejection and negative energy, that this was not a reciprocal relationship for me, my mind still had programmed itself into believing that I fit right in.

Thank God, with time I’ve grown up to realise, to stop going out of my way to meet a person or an ‘opportunity’ because really, whenever it didnt meet me half-way, it never worked out.

I have forgiven myself, for all the times I had something good in front of me, and ignored it because I thought I belonged with something better, clearly not, in actuality, if it has its back turned to you, or if its asking you to go the extra mile to ‘prove’ yourself worthy of being in its presence. Then you need to run. Fast.

Want the things that want you.

Pay attention to the people that go out of their way to greet you and embrace you when they see you, meet them back with the same energy, they deserve it. Conserve the energy you may be giving to people who do not appreciate you, and give it to the people, who do. The same goes for opportunities, you can always tell when you are valued, when your name is said with enthusiasm and optimism that you will be an asset to what ever organization your being recruited into.

Ofcourse, life can surprise you, a relationship can begin sour and find its way to being sweet, but alot of time, well for me ive found, what isnt trying to meet you halfway, will show you its true feelings eventually, and if it does change its mind, and begin to see your value- by then you feel completely different.

Want the things that want you, do not chase what is not chasing you, listen to the things that call your name and respond. Call its name back, love it as it loves you. Nurture it as it nurtures you. Respect it as it respects you. Hold this reciprocal relationship as sacred. Chase eachother and collide in an embrace.

- love to all who read. And as always, all who dont.

- Hermenia

20 lessons learned at 20.

1. Do not move from fear.
2. Move from love.
3. Be yourself.
4. Embrace your weird.
5. Want the things that want you.
6. If you want a real teacher. Look at nature.
7. Darkness is there to purge. Do not run from it. It will only allow you to give more light.
8. Combat fear with bravery.
9. Invest in yourself. Not just financially but by claiming your own space and time to cultivate your talents.
10. Go out to places and events of interest. Even if it means going alone. Youll make friends.
Trust me.
11. Do your part. Show up. Let what is meant for you meet you half way.
12. Love never runs dry. No matter how hard someone hurts you. Real love is truly forever. Even in absence. Even in silence.
13. Your weaknesses are your strengths.
14. Your past is your past for a reason. Under divine guidance you have been built up for today.
15. Self- Reflection will save your life.
16. Damn, You really love yourself, dont you.
17. Remember what you’re here for. Never forget.
18. Dedication. Devotion and determination. Dont stop. Dont count.
19. It takes nothing to dream but everything you have to manifest a dream.
20. Girl. You good.

Faking The Burn.

My heart cannot hold space. 
For the weight of a person running away. For the vision of a love lost. 
Or that summers day where it rained,

relentlessly.

My heart has no time for such memory. 
Heart ache was removed from feeling, and a feeling became sentimental.

'Hold onto what hurt you so you remember how the wounds took shape.' 
Hands in broken glass as you invision the face of the past.

It doesnt hurt. 
The pain is sentimental. 
Been with you so long engraved in your mental.

You dont need it anymore. 
Or want it at that. 
You have simply become attached. 
Youre simply just attached.

Something says. 
The time is now. 
To let the old things go.

Our souls, they know spring. 
Our minds, will they follow?

Is It Dangerous.

Is it dangerous. 
To be this comfortable with silence?

To be perfectly okay. 
With waking up. 
And going back to sleep. 
Without the urge, or fight. 
To see the day. 

How healthy is it,
To want nothing?
And embrace nothing wanting you.

- A state of freedom