‘I have a feeling you only want, what doesnt want you’.
Said the woman on television without realising she had caused a click in my skull, like all this time something was out of place and finally, It had been mended. If not that then it was more like a light had burnt out in my head, an alarm had been buzzing in my brain, all this time, causing my movements to be frantic and nonsensical, finally, I had pressed the off switch of that annoying alarm- that really had no purpose.
This is one of the greatest lessons that has slapped me in the face over the past 4 years. To want the things that want you, do not chase what is not chasing you, listen to the things that call your name and respond. Call its name back, love it as it loves you. Nurture it as it nurtures you. Respect it as it respects you. Hold this reciprocal relationship as sacred. Chase eachother and collide in an embrace.
In the past; I have, found my mind forcing my body to place itself into situations where it felt it should be. Rather than looking in front of me, I’d catch myself looking beyond, into the distance… into a place where I felt I belonged, and even when I got there, and was told through body language, looks, rejection and negative energy, that this was not a reciprocal relationship for me, my mind still had programmed itself into believing that I fit right in.
Thank God, with time I’ve grown up to realise, to stop going out of my way to meet a person or an ‘opportunity’ because really, whenever it didnt meet me half-way, it never worked out.
I have forgiven myself, for all the times I had something good in front of me, and ignored it because I thought I belonged with something better, clearly not, in actuality, if it has its back turned to you, or if its asking you to go the extra mile to ‘prove’ yourself worthy of being in its presence. Then you need to run. Fast.
Want the things that want you.
Pay attention to the people that go out of their way to greet you and embrace you when they see you, meet them back with the same energy, they deserve it. Conserve the energy you may be giving to people who do not appreciate you, and give it to the people, who do. The same goes for opportunities, you can always tell when you are valued, when your name is said with enthusiasm and optimism that you will be an asset to what ever organization your being recruited into.
Ofcourse, life can surprise you, a relationship can begin sour and find its way to being sweet, but alot of time, well for me ive found, what isnt trying to meet you halfway, will show you its true feelings eventually, and if it does change its mind, and begin to see your value- by then you feel completely different.
Want the things that want you, do not chase what is not chasing you, listen to the things that call your name and respond. Call its name back, love it as it loves you. Nurture it as it nurtures you. Respect it as it respects you. Hold this reciprocal relationship as sacred. Chase eachother and collide in an embrace.
- love to all who read. And as always, all who dont.
- Hermenia
