Never leave hope breathing.

Never leave hope breathing. 

It has a way of seeping gas through the cracks of a torn chest. 

Giving breath to the concrete.
Filling a heart up with 'maybes'.  
You Find a faith in your bones. 

In the soil grows the seeds. 

'what if' is conceived. 

Before I lost the tiny device which encapsulated the core of my emotions. My sadness, my happiness. That was practically a portable part of me outside of me.

I wrote my whole life story.  Almost. I talked to myself about who I was before, how it's made me all I am now. 

How what I thought were my weaknesses are my strengths and how it takes time to be able to hold all your gifts and use them to your benefit. 

How our divine inheritance of talent will work against us and as a child to adolescent and beyond, until you learn how to accept yourself. You will sell yourself cheap in the desperate hope of being appreciated. 

Just as I complete the longest note on my phone that I would have loved to read back. Go over. Edit. Release. 

I lose it. 

The whole thing. 

But writing all those words, thoughts and feelings made me strong. 

Now.  I outline the lesson in all losses.

- There is a force pulling me to walk into something new. What better time to do that than spring. 
- When I was away from home. I was having so much fun, enjoying life... absorbing a fresh environment. With that I lost all the feelings that weighed me down. So do things that make you feel good more. 

- You will lose it all to learn protection. 
- You will lose it all to learn to guard your treasures with your life.

- People will care as much as you do.
- Make no apologies for the words of your soul.

And although it sounds like common sense. To always back up everything you do. I've been thinking about why I never did that with all my words. Even some of the ones I loved, maybe because deep down.  I thought, 'I probably won't be sharing this'. I wish I did now. It goes to show how important it is to protect the things that mean a lot to you. 

I still remember, a lot of my words, they come back to me in fragments, some in full- those are the ones I would read over in order to memorise them. 

So I'm writing it all down      again. 

(Atleast what is engraved in my brain.)

I do believe, we are given what we need to move forward, even if it's the minimum.