Sunday 20 December 2015

Closure.


Sometimes.
It's not that a person does not care.
It's that they can't afford to.
Sometimes.
Often times.

There is much too much.
Going on in a person's mind.
Swirling through their brains.
An accumulation of regrettable times,
heart-filled mistakes.

Moments that need reassurance.
Closure.
To be concealed and never revealed.

Places that need understanding.
Thoughts that need to take landing.

It's not that a person does not have time.
In fact. It never is.
Time is a lie.

Sometimes.
Often times.
Its that we figure out which bargains are worth buying into.
And which games are cursed for our losing.

What is the point of fighting to own something, that was never written off in my name?
Why should I play a game, I do not have chance of finishing?
How can I make someone love me from their perspective?
Too many things come into play.
To force someone to understand us.

Too many things swirling,
Brewing.
Casting dark holes in our brains.

Losing games.





Sometimes.
Often times.
We just cannot give it space.
So we must choose which race is possible to win.
Which place is possible to find.
Which solitude is in our reach.
Which understanding is able to jump over.

And so we do.

We pick up all the things that we can say we own.
Our own problems.
Our own dreams.
Our own problematic fantasies.
And we begin running,
A race alone.
To know ourselves, just that bit more than we did before.

So I beg you, do not be fooled.

By the distant smiles.
The cold shoulders,
The dinners with new lovers.
The laughters.
The cheers to 'here after's.
The aftermath of flashy pictures on screens.

Sometimes.
Often times.
They have not forgotten.
I can almost assure you,
They still remember the gifts your past granted them.
But they had to decide.

The things that are worth owning.
The things that won't leave them wondering.
Whether they know the whole truth.
Whether they believe you,

And the only way to be okay with never really knowing.

Was to assure that,
they are the only person they are in debt to.

Was to allow themselves to be the only person, place, thing,
they ever really need to know.






- HP.

x

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