Commitment To Self / Priorities

What I know now

We are left alone to deal with the cards we are dealt. No matter how fair or unjust the game may be, some people were born into unfortunate circumstances. Once again, another truth I am still coming to terms with, one of the hardest truths of to accept. No matter what bruises, scars, beatings, hate and involuntary pain you have been unfairly put through, ever notice how it was still you who had to go to those counseling sessions, you who had wipe your own tears and pick yourself off the ground. So many children are going through hardships everyday, the darkest descriptions of our wildest imaginations wouldn't even scratch the surface of their realities. The hardest truth is, as long as they are breathing, other people can only extend love and act as a support system, it is up to them, to us, to decide we want to live and then we build our lives back up time and time again, brick by brick. You alone reconstructing, your life. You. When I came to the realisation of this I made conclusions.

Look out for yourself, and have your own back, cos when things go wrong you have to sleep with your reality at night. You have to do all the purging and restarting and the fixing. Have your own back and be on your own team.

Be dedicated to yourself, cos erm, a decision was made for you that you would exist. You never decided that for yourself. Yet you are here and your thoughts, emotions and feelings are one with who you are, one with your physicality. You are whole, complete and attached. Realize and honour this unity before you attach to anyone and anything else. When you become undone you will be left to put yourself back together again. Be dedicated to doing so.

Be dedicated to fixing yourself and watering yourself to grow; Understand that everything you need is laid out for you. The things that are meant for you are yours. You decide when you are ready to wake up and pick them up.

'God is ready when you're ready, but you don't want it'.
That's a line from Bonobo ft Erykah Badu- Heaven for the Sinner. Go and receive all your life with that song and thank me later.

Be dedicated to yourself like how you are to your family, show yourself that same commitment. So many times we are worried about whether or not we are unloyal to friends and what people will think of us. Then I realised... The way we make sure that we keep the people we love happy because we don't want to lose them. Is the same way we should do things we say we are going to do and keep the promises we make to ourselves.

Priorities.

What I know now is how important reflection is, because when you reflect you can begin purging and cleansing. lol, well it's true. You will not have to wait until you get slapped in the face until you realise you're treading on dangerous territory, because you'll catch yourself out. You'll check yourself. For yourself. It's almost revolutionary when you start caring more about what your wellbeing, than the comfort of others in your presence. Society obviously puts a lot of pressures on us, but what I know now is that, if you spent as much time trying to understand yourself, accepting your reality, fixing yourself as you did trying to conform and make other people understand you. You will feel different. 

Decided to make this only part 1 of this subject. This one has been sitting in drafts for a minute, and things keep hitting me when I'm writing, things that will take effort to translate from feelings to text and will take a while to explain. I don't want to write them half-heartedly, so if you read this and it resonated, keep it close and please believe we are gonna go deeper real soon. :)








By the way, thanks to all the people that have gone out of their way to tell me the things I've shared have resonated with them. Thankyou. Appreciate it so much, all the love. 

Signing out for now, but not for long.